I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
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If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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