She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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