You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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