I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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