Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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