You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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