if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize