I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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