I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize