I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize