forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize