His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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