The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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