So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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