And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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