i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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