I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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