Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize