okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize