Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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