About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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