Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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