I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize