dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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