Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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