that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize