can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the day after is always just damage control
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize