I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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