You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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