he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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