If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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