I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize