My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize