you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
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MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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