Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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