Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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