everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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