so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize