I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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