This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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