i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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