I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize