I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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