I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize