just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize