I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize