I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize