Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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