I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize