Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize